Why Long Hair?

Comment by taunya

January 18, 2007 @ 3:54 pm

Where did the idea of older women not having long hair come from. I’m 56 and my mother is having a fit about me growing my hair out. It is about shoulder length & the girls I work with like it. I would just like to know where the idea that older women should keep the hair short. Anyone know

Comment by Stephanie

January 18, 2007 @ 4:04 pm

I read someplace a while back that the whole short hair for women came from when hair salons first got popular. If you grow your hair long the hairstylists get less work, so they encourage women to keep short hair, which requires more frequent trims as well as styling.

No idea as to the truth but it makes a lot of sense. I’m not sure about how it became so strongly linked to older women such that long hair is so unusual, close to forbidden, among them.

Comment by Summer

January 28, 2007 @ 3:21 pm

I am over 50 and have gray waist-length hair. I receive many compliments from friends and strangers- both men and women of various ages. At the grocery store. In line, while shopping. And out and about. At work.

Interestingly, those that want me to cut my hair or color it, are woman who have short colored hair. If only it took a dye job and a short haircut to make them look young again.

Do an observation. Not many women look good in short hair, especially those who are over-weight. Older women look very masculine with short hair.

I think the issue of gray hair is more of a problem for women than men.
Men love Emmylou Harris’ long gray hair! Woman think men don’t like gray hair but I have had the opposite experience with men.

As if all it took to look younger would be a dye job. There are other factors to looking younger besides haircolor. A healthy lifestyle, happiness, and exercise.

There is so much pressure on women to follow those old wives tales of aging, haircolor, and hair styles. Years of reading fashion magazines.

Another myth, is that long hair upkeep is time-consuming. Not true!
Long hair is so easy to take care of and have glossy locks.
Hair trims every 2-months.
Wash and condition in the shower.
Dry on it’s own or sometimes use the car heater to dry it.
Use airblowers with cool air only and around the head. To keep the hair split-end free.

I think air drying is the reason that I have very few split ends and shiny, glossy hair.

So I just don’t bother to follow any of those older women’s advise.

My 2 cents!

Comment by Stephanie

January 28, 2007 @ 6:56 pm

I think I’m a fan of yours now, Summer! I’m 34, but I fully intend to grow old with long, grey hair. It always looks so beautiful when I see it.

Comment by Melissa

February 15, 2007 @ 6:06 am

Dear Sister,
Hi My name is Melissa. I see a lot of ladies with longer hair, two of them are in our very own church. I think it’s lovely! I, on the other hand, am struggling to grow my hair out…my friend with the really long hair (down to her legs) said if I can get past the next 6 months it won’t be too hard…but I AM sick of mid-length hair…it’s SOOO irritating!
Anyway, I thought this was really neat! -Melissa

Comment by walksbyfaith

March 23, 2007 @ 11:02 am

My experience parallels Summer’s (#140 ^up there). My Mother started in on that ‘women-of-an-age’ campaign when I was in my early thirties. Mom was the only living person who could remember me with short hair and she remembered a quiet, cute-ish five year old.

Last year, compelled by compassion for a dear friend, I did the unthinkable; OFF it came! (read the story from the link) I do not regret cutting it off one little bit however, I will never do it again.

I learned something about myself; my long hair was my signature of femininity. I am a jeans girl, not a girlie girl. I told myself that men loved women with long hair. However, none of the men in my life expressed appreciation in any way for my long hair. They always ultimately chose women with short hair, and girlie-ness. Boy, oh boy was I wrong. Despite my altruism, I took alot of grief for the change. Guys whom I barely knew expressed their profound disappointment. I learned another lesson; short hair made me look, well….butch. Adding to some ambiguity about certain preferences.

It is just shy of a year later. My hair has not been trimmed. It is in the awkward, can’t put it up, barretts look stupid on a ‘woman-of-an-age’, stage. The hair stylist did a wonderful job and her original cut has grown out gracefully.

Ironicly, my Mother’s hair is way longer than mine, currently. No one has seen her with hair that long, ever. She keeps asking me to cut it for her when I visit her next. She has not seen mine. The look on my oldest daughter’s face when she saw my hair was an eye-popping priceless.

If you are going to cut your long hair, please consider donating it to Beautiful Lengths.

Comment by Susan Richardson

September 27, 2007 @ 2:19 am

Very interesting website, with some thoughtful comments. My hair was always kept short when I was a child because it is naturally very curly (and red!). As soon as I grew olde enough to manage it myself I grew it. I have cut it short three times since, after the birth of each of my children, and I too, learned something about myself. I found that I felt slightly liberated and somehow less feminine. A commenter above said that men who had never commented on her long hair were vocal in their disappointment when she had it cut. I think that most men prefer women with long hair, but normally daren’t say so! I am nearly 60 and have shoulder length hair at present, but am intending to grow it. I am a little worried about how to deal with it as I grow older, and that’s how I found this website – I was looking for ways to put my hair up neatly!

Comment by Stephanie

September 27, 2007 @ 2:40 pm

Susan, I’m glad you like the site. I love working on it when I have the time, which isn’t as often as I would like.

Comment by Carol

September 29, 2007 @ 11:27 am

I have shoulder length wavy to curly hair that is now almost completely gray – more like dark gray mixed light gray. I have been dying my hair different shades of blonde/brown since I was in my thirties for fun. I am now 54. I love my hair long and plan to keep it that way.

I am still experimenting though with color – I like my gray hair – I find it pretty. I have recently been lowlighting/highlighting my hair on only half my head so that the gray blends in more with the color without covering it completely. People still refer to me as blonde. I happen to also like the texture of hair dye – it seems to give me a little more bounce in my hair. I will this time try just lowlighting my hair as my hair has lightened too much after the summer sun.

Has anyone else tried something fun with their all gray hair aside from growing it out completely? I saw a woman’s head recently that I liked. Her hair was all white with very dark almost black streaks predominating the look. This color contrast is way to strong for me though as I look best in more muted shades.

What do you think girls?

Comment by Carol

September 29, 2007 @ 11:30 am

I want to add too that I am not growing the gray because I am a “purist” or something – I do really like it! But I want to still add a little something. If anyone else has done this, please share it with me!

Comment by Stephanie

September 29, 2007 @ 3:51 pm

I’m only 35, and not grey enough to call mine grey yet. It’s there, it’s starting to show to other people, but it’s really not that obvious. My mother in-law is naturally grey with short hair, and one of the clerks at my local grocery store has long grey hair too. Both really do look great. I’m hoping mine looks that good grey someday.

In other words, no ideas from me yet. I would definitely suggest trying the lowlighting to get something done with it

Comment by Carol

September 30, 2007 @ 3:37 pm

Thanks for your words of encouragement Stephanie. I also found on Oprah’s magazine website pictures of totally awesome looking women with gray hair – it’s in the October issue of her mag. Perfect timing for this article.

Also, someone mentioned that they found gray hair a little on the rebellious side – I like that concept!

Comment by Jennifer

December 15, 2007 @ 3:10 am

I believe that women needing to chop their hair when it starts turning grey is a crock! If for no other reason than I refuse to do it! I’m only 28 and have waist-length strawberry blonde hair. However, almost exactly at my last birthday, the hair at my temples started turning pure white. I think it looks awesome! I remember having boy-cuts for most of my childhood and HATED it. I love having long hair. I think this is about as long as it’s ever been, but I intend to grow it till it just won’t grow anymore.

Not to mention that for to majority of history, women with short hair was not only unthinkable, but a mark of shame. And I’m pretty sure that women then went grey eventually, too.

Comment by Carol

December 16, 2007 @ 12:01 pm

Jennifer – YES, I agree – hair that is streaked with white is awesome! And with strawberry blonde hair it must look beautiful – probably more pale blonde than white at this stage since it mixes with the rest of the head.

Lowlighting my long gray/white hair has had mixed reviews from friends – some love it – some said I should cut it – Of course, I am not going to listen to them.

I enjoy being able to wear my hair up or half up with pretty hair accessories. My hair is actually a few inches past my shoulders and with long layers which compliments my face shape more.

If I decide to let my hair go all gray, it will be an easy transition since it is only lowlighted on half my head.

I only trim my hair 4x a year, and I lowlight 3x a year so the cost is minimal.

Enjoy your long hair – and don’t let anyone tell you to conform to what THEY think you should do. It’s really conventional wisdom vs. unconventional wisdom.

Comment by Nani Jean

January 24, 2008 @ 11:19 pm

Hello everyone! I found this site while looking for syles for my hair. It is silver/white/gray mixed, and past my waist now. When I was young, it was dark brown with natural red & gold highlights. I have perfect strangers stopping me often to tell me how beautiful my hair is. Of course, it’s not as thick as it used to be, but it’s still thicker than most, and I take care to keep it as healthy as possible. Just 5 years ago it was very very short, but I don’t think I’ll ever wear it that way again! Tooooo much work! LOL

What I am looking for, though, is a simple but elegant way to put it up for my daughter’s wedding in March. As the ‘mother of the bride’, I want to look my best! Any suggestions?

Nani Jean

Comment by Stephanie

January 25, 2008 @ 1:55 pm

Hair styles are so hard to describe online!

A fairly quick one I do is kind of like putting it up in a bun. I gather my hair up at the top of my head, twist it (not too tight, of course), then start winding like for a bun, with each loop going under the previous one. I then take the top of it and pull it down towards the nape of my neck. This creates a really nice effect with the hair, and can be held in with hair sticks.

Sometimes I struggle to get it that right combination of tight enough to stay in all day and loose enough for comfort, but it generall works really well.

Another that takes a bit more time but looks really elegant is my sister’s variation on the Victorian. She puts her hair in a ponytail, flips it through, does the three braids, but pulls them through the flipped section twice, arranging the braids neatly. She often puts a little hair decoration or hair stick in. This one stays put really well.

Comment by Carol

January 27, 2008 @ 9:44 am

Hi Girls – Nani Jean – you’re hair sounds awesome! I like Stephanie’s idea of a total upswept for the wedding, but also like to see a little more fussing going on – maybe a french braid. The length can be be wrapped at the nap of your neck in the braid or wrapped in a chignon.

Difficult to do – so if you like this idea, I would start practicing now or scouting out a hairdresser that does upswepts – BUT, you do not want your hair to look too “pageantly” which can easily happen in a salon by a well-meaning beautician.

I have been using jumbo-sized hot rollers again – I haven’t used these since the ’80s. My hair is not as long as yours (layered and a little past the shoulder), but if you set your hair AWAY from your face and the rollers on the sides and in the back placed as high on your head as possible and up instead of under – the ends of your hair should be curled which would be VERY pretty, and you could then wear your hair half-up.

Also, I don’t know where you live, but in Manhattan there is a “long hair only salon” -George Michael’s on Madison Avenue. I used to go there years ago – some of the women had FLOOR length hair – it was fun to watch the stylists do amazing things with their customers’ hair – hair sticks and picks and the like!

In any event – the only dos I would stay clear of would be dos that are too severe or too contrived.

Also, your dress or gown would also dictate a certain style to a point anyway. What are you wearing?

Comment by Bo

January 31, 2008 @ 2:10 pm

Women over 40 should cut their hair short only if they want to look—-their age or older. Time and again, ravishing manes get chopped shorter only to expose age lines and the more unflattering features. Hey, women are just plain lovely beings, but for the lady who cares about looking her most sensuous, grow your hair as long as you can, treat it with TLC and keep it groomed.
Yes, and those altruistic cuts for Locks of Love and others, they have *mountains* of donations already. Yours is not needed, except maybe by some socialite who will buy it! Bo

Comment by SUSAN FLIEGEL

March 20, 2008 @ 1:14 pm

My hair started turning grey when I was about 14, and by the time I was 16 I was dyeing it. That kept on, with many changes of color, until I was in my late 30s and, thanks to brown recluse spider bites, developed an allergy to the dyes. But by that time, enough of the hair had turned grey to look good (previously the roots had kinda resembled a calico cat). Since my hair is stick-straight with no body, curl, or wave and will not take any form of perm, I have two choices — wear it very short or very long. While I love it short, I’m a big woman and it really looks better long. For the last year and a half, I have grown it out and it’s now almost waist-length. With the hot summer ahead, I was going to cut it and donate the hair.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that all of the places that accept hair donations for cancer patients only make wigs for children, and will not accept grey hair. I know darned well there are plenty of older women who have lost their hair due to cancer treatment — why isn’t there a charity to make wigs for them?

I love some of the descriptions of hair styles on this site, but my hair tends to slide out of most styles, clips, and hair sticks. And since it is so straight, instead of wispy little curls caressing the neckline and face, I just look like I’ve been pulled through a bush backward with wild-looking bits and pieces sticking out.

Comment by Lillian Rosengarten

May 10, 2008 @ 4:27 pm

Hello long hair lovers. I am 73 and have thick hair to my waist. For some years I low lighted, but now am using no dyes. I love it, feel sexy and recommend this to anyone who wants to try.

Hair Power to elder women, from a hippie grandma.

Comment by carrie

June 5, 2008 @ 9:14 am

longer hair pulls down the face……..everything looks a little longer……nose chin ect…….shorter hair help make everything lift up a little…….long hair pulls down an already sagging face……

Comment by Stephanie

June 5, 2008 @ 11:45 am

And yet I see a lot of women who look utterly fabulous with long hair, no matter their age. Remember, long hair is not always worn down. You can do a lot with long hair styles.

Comment by Lisa

June 26, 2008 @ 8:18 am

I found this site looking for different hair styles. I found the comments amusing and helpful. I always had the impression that old women had long hair and always had it in a bun or a braid. Don’t know where this pre-conception comes from because both my grandmothers had the short perm!
I am only 30 and have hair that is waist length. I get the comments and the questions too. It started as having to keep it long to weigh down the frizzy curls. I have only cut it (more than just a trim) 3 times in the last 15 years. My hubby is always telling me to cut it and I always tell him NO!
I love my hair and it’s a lot easier to manage. I cannot have hair shorter than past my shoulders or I have a large mushroom-shaped catastrophy. I color it some, but will consider letting it go grey when the time comes, it looks pretty.

Comment by Karen

July 21, 2008 @ 2:37 pm

I am 54 and have naturally curly frizzy hair. I finally love it. I ordered a book, used and cheap, called Curly Girl. I actually visited their salon in NYC and had them get me to enjoy my hair. Their products work great, but you don’t have to use them. You can order them from beauty supply stores under Deva Curl. I color my shoulder length hair. I wash it, pat it dry, gel it wet, scrunch it slightly, and go to bed. In the morning, when dry, I put on either styling cream, serum or more gel. The trick is to not mess with it until it is dry. Then fluff it a little. I use a hooded dryer, $50 on line, if I need to do it during the day. I never had it so good. Short hair needed curling irons, blow drying and tons of hairspray. Yuch!

Comment by Karen

August 24, 2008 @ 6:43 pm

I just turned 63. Every time in my life that I cut my hair because I thought I should because of my age, I regretted it. It’s now past my shoulders, layered and still growing. I touch it up because I think my original natural color looks best on me (and because it matches all my clip-on extensions and hair pieces). Men love it, I love it, and the heck with anyone who doesn’t love it.

Comment by Becky

August 25, 2008 @ 8:42 am

I love long hair. My hair is layered by the back comes to my bra strap. I love long hair on the young and older women. I find short hair not appealing. Just my opinion. I think women were meant to have long hair. 50 years ago, women kept their hair long, it is not until recently you see girls, especially in their 20’s with short pixie cuts. Older women who once had long hair chop it off for this typical short hair cut.

Parents to daughters who cut their hair, please let it grow. God Bless.

Comment by Rebecca

September 20, 2008 @ 12:08 pm

Im 24 and my hair is half way down my back.Iv’e just started to grow my hair I want to gorw it really really long. But when I get older if it goes grey I won’t die it I’ll lave it just as it is I love long hair it’s beautiful.

Comment by Cindy

December 3, 2008 @ 8:43 pm

I’ve been debating for a few months now on if I should cut my hair or not. Growing up my mom kept my hair short believing that my curly hair would be easier to care for. When I got married my husband convinced me to grow it long. Wow! had I know all those years that the weight would help control the curl it would have made my life so much easier. I love my long hair but just recently I became good friends with my hair dresser. She decided I looked better with shorter hair. She said, “woman with long gray hair look terrible”. I let her do what she felt was the best for me. She chopped 4 inches off. Once I looked in the mirror I could hardly breathe! She also convinced me to let her dye it. I love her dearly, but I hate my hair now! So, here I go, back to growing it out, it’s two toned and I’m feeling like a very old lady. I’m 48 and I wish I would have left it alone! Anyone out there that has any tips on how to get your hair back to the way it use to be? I’m a ash blonde with what I believe is 75% gray roots. Help.

Comment by Carol

December 8, 2008 @ 11:46 am

Cindy –

Sorry to hear of your hair disaster!

Your friend, although well meaning, doesn’t sound too hip on the latest hair fashion for older women.

Grey is very much IN – to get your hair back to its natural color – I say – highlight/lowlight. Keep the ash blonde – but also add another color for definition. When the regrowth comes, in use your GREY as the THIRD color – this will blend the end of your hair and camouflage the roots.

I am 55 – 80 % grey maybe – this is what I do – LOVE IT AND get a lot of compliments too.

Lucky your a curly girl – it can hide a multitude of sins i.e. bad haircut.

I would consider – LONG layers – AND very few of them as your hairstyle – this will show off your curls and help you with the weight.

Comment by Elaine

December 28, 2008 @ 10:16 am

When a woman has long beautiful hair some people may encourage them to cut it off. I believe it is largely due to jealousy. People will give advise based on their best interest…not yours.

I feel badly for Cindy whom caved in to her friend (who is not really a friend, sorry).

My boyfriend of five years has requested that I cut my naturally light brown hair and highlight it with blond several times. He stated that if he wanted a teenager for a girlfriend than he would get one. Well, I am forty and he is bald and looks a lot older than he is. So, I wonder what the intent is here?

Long hair is beautiful and is sometimes the envy of other people. Keep this in mind. There is nothing wrong with stating, “I prefer my hair long, thanks”.

Comment by azure

January 15, 2009 @ 8:43 am

Oooh interesting thread, may I join in please?

I’ve always had very curly/frizzy hair, very thick until ‘change of life’ time when a lot came out, leaving waist-length hair but uneven thickness, so, age 50, it was cut short.

Six years on and I’ve let it grow for the last 9 months. It’s now shoulder length, thick, frizzy, undeniably a mess! I’ve been pulling it back into a ponytail and wearing a soft band around to hold back the uneven rest, so no fringe at all. Bit severe.

So, what do we feel about fringes?

Cheers my dears.

Comment by Karen

January 17, 2009 @ 9:17 am

I have shoulder length hair that could be a fuzz ball if I let it. First a good investment for me was the Curly Girl book by Lorraine Masey. You can get it used on Amazon for $5. It is an interesting and invaluable read. Second, after finding out that most hairdressers do not know how to deal with natually curly hair, I basically must take control and tell them what not to do. I never use a blow dryer, but I will allow them to put me under a hooded dryer with alot of gel. They and I put a few long clips at the top, and crown of my head, grabbing a few clumps and pinching the hair together. This will give your hair height on the top. (The book will illustrate this) I don’t do anything else until it is dry. Then I take out the clips and fluff it a little. No frizz. I also do this at night and go to bed with a wet head and clips on the top. My trick is to use a palmful of gel by the ladies that wrote the book. I buy it online. It is called DevaCurl Angell. I found a good price through the Brighton Beauty supply company. I am not a salesperson, but I know what works for me and I love to share my experience after 55 years of hair disasters. Karen

Comment by Zinnia

March 12, 2009 @ 2:17 pm

Fun thread. I’m 46 and have long brown hair, with gray streaks. There have been several books out lately about women choosing not to dye their hair, and finding the natural gray more flattering. In one book, a woman posts pictures of herself on several personals sites to see if she gets more interest with or without gray hair. She gets more inquiries with the gray hair.

I think long hair is less trouble, and I get a lot of compliments. I do a lot of conditioning, and I swim one or more times a week. The gray is coming in coarser and curlier. I’m hoping I’ll get Grace Paley’s hair eventually…

I laughed when I read Elaine’s comment above. My boyfriend is bald, early 50’s, and loves my hair long.

Comment by Philip James

March 16, 2009 @ 12:13 pm

I think older women look great with long hair. I think some just tire of the maintenance as this is why they choose to have short hair.

Comment by Kathy

May 1, 2009 @ 1:04 pm

I am 55, have slightly layered, wavy curly hair down to my bra back. I color it. Highlighted blond, because the roots don’t show as soon. I was all set to cut it shoulder length, until reading all of you other older long haired girls stories. I suppose I thought I was the only woman over 50 with long hair!!

Comment by Marly Harris

May 3, 2009 @ 8:05 pm

Yesterday, May 2, I was 76. My hair is hip length, half sable brown/half silver, wavy, and a total delight for me. I part it in the center and wear it down (which really irritates other older women) or in a ballet bun when I work out or have to look civilized.

I shampoo twice a week in the shower with whatever Costco has on special and spray Proclaim all over my hair to keep the volume down. I brush gently in the morning and evening with a natural-bristle brush. That’s it folks, absolutely no maintenance. Once a month, I gather the ends together and cut off about a half-inch.

I’ve never had a bad-hair day because I don’t force my hair to do something it doesn’t want to do. People are always telling me how much younger I’d look if I colored my hair and wore it in a becoming style. They’re missing the point. I’m not interested in looking younger. I want to look beautiful and true beauty is ageless.

Comment by Sue

May 11, 2009 @ 8:44 am

Hi

So good to find these comments. I’m 57 and have long greying hair which I mostly wear down. Women ( especially my daughter!) are always telling me to cut it. Men tell me not to. I’ve almost always had long hair and feel quite naked without it. My father, who wasn’t one for commenting on my appearance, actually said he was disappointed on one of the few occasions I had it cut. He told me ‘men like lomg hair’.
Its so easy to get the appearance of short hair by wearing it up. Short haired ladies never have the opportunity to wear it down! However i do sometimes come close to buckling under the pressure and getting an old lady cut. I’ve printed all your comments and next time I consider a cut I’ll read them and take heart from you all! Thank you.

Comment by Karen

May 11, 2009 @ 3:10 pm

My daughter is my best critic. She tells me not to cut my hair. She is 31 and I am 55. Go with what makes you feel good. My long naturally curly hair is easy to manage. It is great in a ponytail in the summer. I keep it down most of the time. Men like it and I do too. Karen

Comment by Kathy

May 12, 2009 @ 6:30 am

I’m 55, long course curly hair. Yesterday it was raining. I was getting mail out of our outside business mail box, and a neighboring business owner was unlocking his door and yelled, “Your hair is getting wet.” To which I replied, “Good weather for this kind of hair!!” And he nodded yes!!

Comment by Chrissy

May 16, 2009 @ 9:44 pm

Great conversation going here! I am 36 and have always had very dark brown hair even though I am very fair skinned. The last few years more and more grey is growing in, but mostly right above my ears. I have three children, the youngest 6 months old. I lost alot of hair after the birth of each child around the four month mark (which I understand is pretty normal). Then around six or seven months it starts to fall out less (I’m still waiting this time!)and more hair starts to grow in around my face. But most of it comes in grey. Still I’m not at the point where the grey is enough to look good. Any ideas?
I have had every length hair, but long more than short. I feel more feminine with longer hair and probably won’t cut it short again. I am larger in size now after the three kids. Some pictures from our vacation where I had short hair were awful – I looked huge! I do hope more older women stop cutting their hair like men. My older sister is about 80% grey and cuts her hair very short. It is very thick and course and looks very unflattering and somewhat masculine, but I can’t get her over the idea that she is too old for longer hair. Not to change the subject, but some older women wear unfeminine clothes that make them look older and heavier than they are.

Comment by gina

June 4, 2009 @ 6:57 pm

I am 58. My hair is light brown with a lot of silver threads–it looks highlighted/frosted. Right now it is about two inches past my bra strap in back. It is wavy and fine but there’s a lot of it. I have a lot of baby hairs that are fly-away but it is easier to care for long than short (I wore it very short for years and it is the kind of wavy hair that looks good very short OR very long. In between it just looks wild.) My mom is disgusted with my hair (she’s 79) and keeps telling me to get it cut and “styled,” but I enjoy being an aging hippie. I just bought a “jeweled” hair clip for my son’s wedding! Long hair is fun! Having said all that, I want to share something: Neem shampoo and conditioner. (Theraneem is the brand.) I put the conditioner on first, on my dry hair, and let it sit for an hour, then wash with the Neem shampoo and let it air-dry (I do this two or three times a week, depending on how hot and sweaty my hair gets/how much dirt ends up in it after working in the garden, etc.). I also use almond oil on the ends–ust a few drops, warmed between the hands and smoothed on. I get a trim 3x a year. My hair grows about 3/4 of an inch every month. It is not as thick as it was when I was 25 or 30, but the rest of me doesn’t look the way I did at 25 or 30 either. Once a month I do a hot oil treatment with rosemary oil. And when I swim in the ocean or a pool I coat my hair with rosemary oil first, or wear a bathing cap (Vermont Country Store sells real bathing caps!). I wear a hat if I’m going to be in the sun, and I never brush my hair wet, only use a wide-tooth comb, and I brush 60 strokes every night with a boar-bristle brush, bending over at the waist and brushing my hair down to let the blood flow to the scalp. My grandma said to do all these things–she had almost no gray hair at 80, and my aunt had hair down to her hips. Long hair for old broads forever!

Comment by Diane K

July 1, 2009 @ 10:33 pm

I had long hair all my life until I moved into an upper management position. People were telling me that long hair would just not work on a professional level. So I cut my hair. I missed it so much. So finally, about 1 1/2 years ago I started growing it out again. It is to my back bra strap. It is very thick and red (i am 53). I do have it colored but only because my red began to fade out as I got older. I condition like crazy and have professional hair care. Trims on a regular basis. I can do so much with it and it can look different every day. I do not plan to cut it and plan to let it grow to my waist. I encourage any woman to keep her long hair if it is in good condition and thick enough.

Comment by Stephanie

July 2, 2009 @ 10:27 am

My sister solves the “Long hair is not professional” attitude by styling hers. It’s generally just pulled up in various ways. Most of her coworkers have no idea how long her hair is. Looks great, and many of the things she does takes very little time after brushing.

Comment by Kathy

July 2, 2009 @ 10:50 am

I am happy with mine…..everyone that don’t know my name can just say, “You know, the older lady with the long hair.”

Comment by Elle

July 12, 2009 @ 12:10 pm

I was considering having my hair cropped, and I came across this site. I’m so glad I did. I’ve enjoyed reading the discussion here. I agree that short hair is not for everyone. I’m 35 and I am not a skinny girl. I think short hair tends to emphasise that fact.

I love all the posts here from ladies in their 50s, 60s, 70s and even 80s who wear their hair long and wear it gray.

I don’t think I’m ever getting mine short again now!

Comment by Christine

July 16, 2009 @ 8:34 pm

When I was fifteen with long hair and was walking home from school, an old man in a car, yelled at me “The longer the hair, the cheaper the girl.” My thought was “My, how cheap must his mother and grandmother have been.”

Women began cutting their hair following the fashion suggestions of Coco Chanel in the early 20th century. Frankly, I think she was prettier with long hair.

Long hair is indeed easier to take care of. Although I am not a Bible Thumper, there is one line in the Old Testament that I like and that is the one that says a woman who cuts her hair is condemned to hell. Since hell is merely a state of mind, there you have it. I am 61 and adore having long hair. Short haired older women look ugly to me, unless they are drop dead gorgeous no matter what.

Comment by Diane

July 23, 2009 @ 3:25 am

Hello ladies
I’m 49 and growing out my hair – lengthwise and colourwise. I stopped colouring it about 2 years ago and it’s probably 50% grey. It’s just past my shoulders, almost all one length and very thick with a wave. The wave drives me nuts (one side kicks under, the other side kicks out) – if I let it dry naturally, my hair seems to take on a life of its own. But I would rather not have to blowdry it – any suggestions? Also, being so thick, it can take literally hours to air dry…

I plan to grow it REALLY long and leave it to its own devices colour-wise

Comment by Janice

July 29, 2009 @ 11:25 pm

I am 56 years old, I have naturally dark hair that has now gone grey around my temples and the front. I color my hair soft shades of brown and I just had it streaked with a soft blonde shaed.My hair is just passed my shoulders.I usually wear it up in a bun and sometimes in a pony tail with some hair jewlery. I get it trimmed about once or twice a year.I use good quality shamnpoos and conditioners.I would not even entertain the idea of getting my hair cut. My kids alos like it.Long hair makes you feeel feminine and sexy. My husband likes it very much.

Comment by Lucidity

August 1, 2009 @ 7:54 am

What a breath of fresh air! I’m 47 and have babyfine dirty blonde with white streaked hair down to my waist. I love it and will never cut it. Like Summer above, I find it very low maintenance…three trims a year…wash and condition and air dry. I haven’t had a blow dryer on my hair since before my son was born…over 20 years now. It simply could not be easier to take care of. If I condition it right I don’t even have to comb or brush it. People have literally chased me with scissors to cut my hair…mostly family and hairdressers. When I ask them why, they really don’t even have a reason. I find that very odd. Others will comment on age appropriateness…something I myself would never even think about saying to someone. To them I say, with a smile on my face, you do what you wish with your hair…I love mine just the way it is. And I get 100 times as many compliments as I do those sour grapes.

Comment by Parvatii

August 4, 2009 @ 8:20 pm

like others, i was scouting the web on info for older women with long and silvering hair. i’m 48 and am starting to lose the pigment of my chestnut brown hair, which was hard for awhile. however, i really like silver hair, and love to see women wearing it with long hair. it looks amazing. there is something rebellious about it as well, so i’m gonna keep mine. it can be a challenge with the frizz factor, but with the natural wave in my hair, long really does work best for me. and i agree, it’s much easier than short hair that requires constant styling. my hair dresser agrees that my hair is best long, though she’s not crazy about the gray since it has some frizz. i’ll check out the book mentioned here: Curly Girl. Thanks for all the inspiration ladies, especially those who are older.

Comment by Terri

August 16, 2009 @ 4:11 am

Age: 1960; height; 62″; length: -/+ 35″ straight; last parent cut: 1969; last “pro” butcher/cut: pre-’98; last stylist cut: asap after butcher (she was near tears at butcher)
Why long: BECAUSE I CAN! No more pixie/parents; more styles; instant ‘blanket’; men.
Wash/dry: summer: wrap w/towel asap after wash, then bun w/band; winter: dryer, then loose, braid, or bun.
Gray: facial. Assumed to be mid 30s

Comment by Kathy

August 17, 2009 @ 6:32 am

Dianne, have you tried using gel or mousse, scrunching your hair wet, or using a diffuser. I can do this, and mine just gets curlier and curlier. I also sometimes mix sea salt and water in a spritzer, and spray on it.

Comment by Diane

August 17, 2009 @ 5:07 pm

Hi Kathy
I’ll see if I can search out some kind of organic-based gel (or maybe a leave-in conditioner?), and also scrunching, but I’m trying to avoid using a hairdryer (so I don’t have to get the ends trimmed so often). Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Comment by SONYA UJDUR

August 21, 2009 @ 3:43 pm

WOW!!! I was looking for sites that had hair styles for older women, then I found you!! I am 71 years old,had very long hair until I was 60,then cut it sooo short because thats what “old ” ladies do. March of 08 I decided to let it grow again. It is now about 3 inches past my shoulders. it is a soft blond with darker blond highlites. My boyfriend, yes boyfriend, wants me to cut it short because he feels I look older with it long. I made an appointment to get it cut shorter for this coming Thursday. Happy, Happy days I found this site and read the comments and believe me the hair cut is not taking place!!!! I feel now that he can go before my hair!!! I am wearing my pony tail with honor!!! Age is just a number right ladies!!

Comment by Kathy

August 24, 2009 @ 1:04 pm

Sonya, you go gurl!! Tell your boyfriend he can run his fingers thru some other woman’s short, lacquered hair sprayed stiff weekly standing appointment hairdo!!

Comment by Rob Smith

September 3, 2009 @ 4:30 am

In my opinion – short hairstyles can only have been invented by women. Men have always prefered women to to let it grow. Long hair looks good at any age and grey is simply Natures way of adding highlights.

Comment by Jenny

September 17, 2009 @ 10:37 am

I’m really glad I found this site! I’m 52, and cut off my beautiful armpit length hair 3 years ago! Ever since I’ve had varying degrees of short hair. And I hate it! I hate the hair gel and hairspray needed to hold it in place. I don’t need to use heat on it though, as it’s wavy and I just let it air dry. So that’s one good thing. But I want my long hair back.

Also, my stylist decided I needed to start coloring my hair, even though I’m only 10% gray. I have fine, wavy hair. I’ve only had 3 treatments of Redken Shades in red/brown (my natural color is light golden brown). So, I want to stop coloring and grow out my hair. I’m planning to just not get it colored at all again, and hope this works out without needing some kind of in-between hair color while my natural color grows out again. I’m hoping the Shades will just fade away eventually. My hair is fairly short right now too. I don’t really want to keep cutting it until the color grows out.

Any advice out there?

Comment by parvatii

September 17, 2009 @ 7:49 pm

SONYA – you go girl. love your comment esp about your boyfriend going before your hair!

Jenny – i almost cut my hair short, and as i said in a previous comment came upon this website and realized i didn’t really want to do that at all. i felt empowered after my decision. i applaud yours and everyone else’s here. there is a website that may be helpful, with plenty of photos of women growing the color out of their hair. the website, which has a lot of fun stories, is http://www.goinggraylookinggreat.com/

Comment by PEPE

September 19, 2009 @ 11:14 pm

I am a younger male in my early thirties. My own preference is longer hair, but ultimately, it is up to the individual how they wish to look. However, Alot of the women I have known over the years have been getting the cut lately. Being a freshly single man, and previously married to an older women with long hair, I see the difference. My ex-wife looks very young and has amazing hair. It was dark, curly, and well moisturized. It looked better than women half her age.

After the seperation, I started dating again. I dated a women that was 29 and hair similar to my ex-wife’s. Who knows, maybe I was looking for my ex-wife all over again. One day, she came over to visit and I didn’t recognize her. Yeah, she got a pixie.

She had curly hair and after two days she was quite regretful. I asked her after she did it, “Why?” She answered, “Because, it was expected of me to not look like a little girl. Not to mention I needed a change.” She didn’t have anything little girly-like about her. She was a tomboy at heart and after the cut, I always saw here as a confused metro-sexual male. She stayed in shape and didn’t have a lot of women curves. In a nutshell, her hair was one of the few things that gave her an overt femininity.

We didn’t last, but stayed friends. She recognized, in her opinion, that she shouldn’t have cut her hair. She realized that she didn’t get noticed as much after we broke up. I ran into her the other day and her hair is now down to her shoulders, but she told me she wanted to get it down to below her bra strap. She learned alot about not going to extremes to make simple changes. She also commented that her mother suggested she cut her hair to open up economic opportunities.

Overall, I think that one of the reasons why women cut their hair short around 30 is the same reason Robin did. It is to show the world that you can compete in a man’s world. My ex-wife is 38 and still has her long beautiful hair, but she works at home and takes care of our kids. She constantly comments that she isn’t going to cut it until she starts looking bad with it at such a long length.

Robin asked me if I broke up with her over the hair. Yes and no. Yes because she hated the cut and it changed her personality and she lost her self-confidence that personified her. I really didn’t like it, but its only hair and it grows back. Overall, I learned alot about women and haircuts.

Comment by Margaret

September 21, 2009 @ 10:10 am

I was told yesterday in church that “some people think older women who have long hair are trying to look younger.” It’s been bothering me ever since and I don’t know what to make of it. I am 56 and have let my hair grow to several inches below my shoulders. It is thick and very pretty hair, which I have colored and highlighed and trimmed regularly. I used to have a pastor’s wife who stood at the door of the church on my 40 birthday to remind me that I needed to get my hair cut short now. I think people are nuts! Why would anyone say these things? Jealousy? I look at pictures of my shorter hair now and think it looks odd! I think I’ll wear my hair however I want to, and to ____ with anyone else. PS> My husband loves my hair long!

Comment by Stephanie

September 22, 2009 @ 12:56 pm

Margaret,

That is nuts to have anyone tell you when to cut your hair, but standing at the door of the church? Please! There’s a time and a place for expressing your opinion of someone’s looks and that sure isn’t it.

Comment by Stephanie

September 22, 2009 @ 12:58 pm

Pepe,

Dealing with long hair as a professional can be a challenge. My younger sister wears hers up when she goes to work. Her coworkers were shocked when they finally found out how long her hair was.

But yes, it’s to look more professional. I think it’s the idea that long hair makes a woman look too feminine which is somehow supposed to be a problem at work.

Comment by Kathy

September 22, 2009 @ 1:11 pm

Margaret, someone said that at church? I think jealousy. Some older women probably want to grow theirs out, but are afraid to. I personally don’t care what people think. If I ever cut mine, it will be because of the maintenance, not because someone thinks it should be short.

Comment by parvatii

September 22, 2009 @ 3:12 pm

in consideration of all of the things women are supposed to do, i’d venture to say that the woman who told you to cut your hair Margaret, thought she was doing you a favor by cueing you into something she obviously thought you didn’t know.

my mom has told me that i should cut my hair, and i know it’s because she feels as an older woman it’s the thing to do. it’s cultural conditioning.

i have lived in india and not only would anyone never tell a woman – of any age – to cut her hair, it is a cultural norm to grow it long (though it is rare to see it hanging loose). so, conversely, i love to see indian women sporting short hair, because it shows their independence.

i think it’s considered inappropriate for older women to wear their hair long, because it’s considered ’sexy’. society does not generally view aging women as alluring or even attractive, in most cases. all the more reason to wear it long, and in my opinion, silvery!

Comment by Amy Hill

October 12, 2009 @ 4:16 pm

It is written…Does not nature itself teach you itself that long hair is a glory to a woman?

I am 54 and growing my hair out to at least my waist by the time I am 60.

I was halfway there earlier this year when I let myself be talked into a “Locks for Love” haircut. Big mistake! I cried for two months afterwords. I read earlier in this site that all those places for sending your hair were absolutely covered over in donations, and I also read recently that the new chemo treatments don’t make hair fall out. Live and learn.

I have really enjoyed reading all the posts here. I cut my hair pixie short after finding out my husband of 16 years was carrying on with another woman. I kept it that short for 10 years. It wasn’t until after I met my current love & husband that I was encouraged to let it grow out.

Having long hair makes me feel beautiful. I don’t ever plan on getting it cut short again.

Thank you all for your encouraging words!

Comment by Kathy

October 13, 2009 @ 1:39 pm

I read an “instant smoothing, frizzless” hairstyle for long hair the other day. Shampoo hair at night, use styling gel or product, slick back, put in a bun at the nap of the neck, and pin. The next morning, just undo, and style wavy part with fingers. I think this would be great, however, my hair is really thick and course. the top was smooth, but the bun was still wet!!
Thought some of you girls might try this, and maybe give me a suggestion on course, thick, wavy, and rather frizzy hair. Tried everything, done that, been there.

Comment by Betty

November 18, 2009 @ 4:53 pm

I am 59 and have very fine, straight, but frizzy gray hair. It was cut in a bob which I hated so now I’m letting it grow long. It’s almost shoulder length now. What suggestions do you have for helping baby fine, thin grey hair look good long?

Comment by elizabeth dunning

November 28, 2009 @ 6:38 pm

Comment to Betty : Let your hair completely alone except to trim ,only the tiniest bit, but regularly. Don’t let the ends get frayed. Put serum on the ends. Keep doing this as you let it grow. Once it gets past your shoulders, it will lay down. Because of the texture of your hair, keep it trimmed with serum on the ends,even as it gets long, and it will look very neet. Also, you might want to use the tiniest bit of serum lightly all over the surface of you hair,mist with water and brush through as a final step.

Comment by joanna

December 3, 2009 @ 7:34 pm

I am 40 years old and a few inches off waist and I will never go short again. I had mine cut to a pixie 4 years ago due to a comment that i looked like a hippie! and I regretted my decision straight away.

My hair is baby fine and wavy. I hardly ever use heat, just wash and condition every other day, put coconut oil on the ends and do a weekly deep condition and my is the best its ever looked.

I think long hair looks great whatever your age, as long as its well looked after. Washing hair with just conditioner (yes it is posible) helps with frizz and really brings the wave out, plus aloe vera gel is great for frizz and fly aways.

As for the hippie comment, if long hair makes me look like one, then im one happy hippy!

Comment by wilco

December 29, 2009 @ 7:32 pm

My mother just turned 70 and still has long (down her back) black hair with only some gray in it. She doesn’t dye her hair, so she is lucky. I cropped my hair short in June but I would rather have it long; now I am growing it out again (i’m 45).

Comment by Jacque

December 29, 2009 @ 9:48 pm

I am so glad I found this site!!! I will be 58 in January. I decided a year ago to let my hair grow, long hair makes me feel feminine. Elizabeth Dunnings advice on how to care for thinner hair, was just what I was looking for, I do weave and cover my gray its better with my skin color, after seeing my stylist for color touch ups, trims, my hair is like a young women’s hair, LOL!!!!! I am letting it grow to my waist, I don’t feel alone in this venture, after reading these greats posts!!!…

Comment by smow

January 2, 2010 @ 6:19 am

yea… so what? i have long, thick, wavy hair that would be grey if I didn’t color it. As a child, I always had a pixie haircut and I’m NOT going back and I’m NOT getting an old lady haircut.

Comment by smow

January 2, 2010 @ 6:20 am

ps…. I’m 55 years old!

Comment by SHIRLEY

January 12, 2010 @ 2:17 am

I sure am glad I found this sight, I am glad to know that I am not the only old gal who is letting there hair grow,Ive always had to get perms because I have stick straight hair but I am tired of that scene and dont have time because my business is upholstering furniture, Ive been growing it out for 2 years now, my daughter wants me to get cut short again as she says it makes me look old. I dont have any grey yet and never have died it. I soon will be 74 and going to grow older with grace. I use NEXXUS shampoo & conditioner. My hair has grown to the top of my bra, if you gals got any ideas I would like to hear from you. Shirley

Comment by Nettie

February 1, 2010 @ 9:24 pm

Hi, I am 51, have waist length medium brown hair that I have been dying for about 10 years. SICK OF DYING MY HAIR! But, as I read about Color oops and other hair color removers, I realize that having gone to a shade LIGHTER than my natural medium brown will turn the dyed hair red, requiring, good grief, more dying! I want to go GRAY! I have been searching the internet for a week and it seems that the only option is to Low light to diminish the transition line of my medium brown (and awesome white)roots and the dyed hair? That is, to have a color matching my natural medium brown applied in the same manner as when you get hi-lights. Which would give me 3 hair colors fighting it out on my head – well, kinda like they are now, but maybe more blended….? Anyone ever do this with the same hair color combo I have going?

Comment by Linda

February 15, 2010 @ 10:04 am

I came across this because I’m letting it grow again – I think – and need inspiration. I will be 60 this year. I’m happiest when my hair has been at least long enough to wear up in the heat. Right now it’s grazing my shoulders (last summer it was chin length and really too short). I want it at least mid back – I weave my hair light blonde – it helps with the white front and darker back – and will continue to do so at least for the foreseeable future.. Thanks for giving me the gumption to say the heck with people who think that, because of my age, I should have short hair.

Comment by Diane

March 4, 2010 @ 7:02 am

I never realized how much hair and hair style affects the way people treat you until I bought a wig. I’ve suffered from AGA my entire life and struggled just to keep my short, very thin and fine hair looking “normal”. I’ve never worn anything longer that a very short boy cut.

When I started going through menopause I started really losing my hair. Even the short cut with a comb over would no longer do. So I took the plunge and bought a wig.

Wow. What a difference hair on your head makes! My wig is short, but it looks great. I now have people talking to me that simply ignored me before.

After taking a look at the comments on this website, I’m excited about wearing longer style wigs too. Longer for me would be a chin-length bob. But after 40 years of short ugly hair, a chin-length bob would be so nice. I finally feel female! Who would have thought it would have to take a wig to do that to me?