Why Long Hair?

Comment by taunya

January 18, 2007 @ 3:54 pm

Where did the idea of older women not having long hair come from. I’m 56 and my mother is having a fit about me growing my hair out. It is about shoulder length & the girls I work with like it. I would just like to know where the idea that older women should keep the hair short. Anyone know

Comment by Stephanie

January 18, 2007 @ 4:04 pm

I read someplace a while back that the whole short hair for women came from when hair salons first got popular. If you grow your hair long the hairstylists get less work, so they encourage women to keep short hair, which requires more frequent trims as well as styling.

No idea as to the truth but it makes a lot of sense. I’m not sure about how it became so strongly linked to older women such that long hair is so unusual, close to forbidden, among them.

Comment by Summer

January 28, 2007 @ 3:21 pm

I am over 50 and have gray waist-length hair. I receive many compliments from friends and strangers- both men and women of various ages. At the grocery store. In line, while shopping. And out and about. At work.

Interestingly, those that want me to cut my hair or color it, are woman who have short colored hair. If only it took a dye job and a short haircut to make them look young again.

Do an observation. Not many women look good in short hair, especially those who are over-weight. Older women look very masculine with short hair.

I think the issue of gray hair is more of a problem for women than men.
Men love Emmylou Harris’ long gray hair! Woman think men don’t like gray hair but I have had the opposite experience with men.

As if all it took to look younger would be a dye job. There are other factors to looking younger besides haircolor. A healthy lifestyle, happiness, and exercise.

There is so much pressure on women to follow those old wives tales of aging, haircolor, and hair styles. Years of reading fashion magazines.

Another myth, is that long hair upkeep is time-consuming. Not true!
Long hair is so easy to take care of and have glossy locks.
Hair trims every 2-months.
Wash and condition in the shower.
Dry on it’s own or sometimes use the car heater to dry it.
Use airblowers with cool air only and around the head. To keep the hair split-end free.

I think air drying is the reason that I have very few split ends and shiny, glossy hair.

So I just don’t bother to follow any of those older women’s advise.

My 2 cents!

Comment by Stephanie

January 28, 2007 @ 6:56 pm

I think I’m a fan of yours now, Summer! I’m 34, but I fully intend to grow old with long, grey hair. It always looks so beautiful when I see it.

Comment by Melissa

February 15, 2007 @ 6:06 am

Dear Sister,
Hi My name is Melissa. I see a lot of ladies with longer hair, two of them are in our very own church. I think it’s lovely! I, on the other hand, am struggling to grow my hair out…my friend with the really long hair (down to her legs) said if I can get past the next 6 months it won’t be too hard…but I AM sick of mid-length hair…it’s SOOO irritating!
Anyway, I thought this was really neat! -Melissa

Comment by walksbyfaith

March 23, 2007 @ 11:02 am

My experience parallels Summer’s (#140 ^up there). My Mother started in on that ‘women-of-an-age’ campaign when I was in my early thirties. Mom was the only living person who could remember me with short hair and she remembered a quiet, cute-ish five year old.

Last year, compelled by compassion for a dear friend, I did the unthinkable; OFF it came! (read the story from the link) I do not regret cutting it off one little bit however, I will never do it again.

I learned something about myself; my long hair was my signature of femininity. I am a jeans girl, not a girlie girl. I told myself that men loved women with long hair. However, none of the men in my life expressed appreciation in any way for my long hair. They always ultimately chose women with short hair, and girlie-ness. Boy, oh boy was I wrong. Despite my altruism, I took alot of grief for the change. Guys whom I barely knew expressed their profound disappointment. I learned another lesson; short hair made me look, well….butch. Adding to some ambiguity about certain preferences.

It is just shy of a year later. My hair has not been trimmed. It is in the awkward, can’t put it up, barretts look stupid on a ‘woman-of-an-age’, stage. The hair stylist did a wonderful job and her original cut has grown out gracefully.

Ironicly, my Mother’s hair is way longer than mine, currently. No one has seen her with hair that long, ever. She keeps asking me to cut it for her when I visit her next. She has not seen mine. The look on my oldest daughter’s face when she saw my hair was an eye-popping priceless.

If you are going to cut your long hair, please consider donating it to Beautiful Lengths.

Comment by Susan Richardson

September 27, 2007 @ 2:19 am

Very interesting website, with some thoughtful comments. My hair was always kept short when I was a child because it is naturally very curly (and red!). As soon as I grew olde enough to manage it myself I grew it. I have cut it short three times since, after the birth of each of my children, and I too, learned something about myself. I found that I felt slightly liberated and somehow less feminine. A commenter above said that men who had never commented on her long hair were vocal in their disappointment when she had it cut. I think that most men prefer women with long hair, but normally daren’t say so! I am nearly 60 and have shoulder length hair at present, but am intending to grow it. I am a little worried about how to deal with it as I grow older, and that’s how I found this website - I was looking for ways to put my hair up neatly!

Comment by Stephanie

September 27, 2007 @ 2:40 pm

Susan, I’m glad you like the site. I love working on it when I have the time, which isn’t as often as I would like.

Comment by Carol

September 29, 2007 @ 11:27 am

I have shoulder length wavy to curly hair that is now almost completely gray - more like dark gray mixed light gray. I have been dying my hair different shades of blonde/brown since I was in my thirties for fun. I am now 54. I love my hair long and plan to keep it that way.

I am still experimenting though with color - I like my gray hair - I find it pretty. I have recently been lowlighting/highlighting my hair on only half my head so that the gray blends in more with the color without covering it completely. People still refer to me as blonde. I happen to also like the texture of hair dye - it seems to give me a little more bounce in my hair. I will this time try just lowlighting my hair as my hair has lightened too much after the summer sun.

Has anyone else tried something fun with their all gray hair aside from growing it out completely? I saw a woman’s head recently that I liked. Her hair was all white with very dark almost black streaks predominating the look. This color contrast is way to strong for me though as I look best in more muted shades.

What do you think girls?

Comment by Carol

September 29, 2007 @ 11:30 am

I want to add too that I am not growing the gray because I am a “purist” or something - I do really like it! But I want to still add a little something. If anyone else has done this, please share it with me!

Comment by Stephanie

September 29, 2007 @ 3:51 pm

I’m only 35, and not grey enough to call mine grey yet. It’s there, it’s starting to show to other people, but it’s really not that obvious. My mother in-law is naturally grey with short hair, and one of the clerks at my local grocery store has long grey hair too. Both really do look great. I’m hoping mine looks that good grey someday.

In other words, no ideas from me yet. I would definitely suggest trying the lowlighting to get something done with it

Comment by Carol

September 30, 2007 @ 3:37 pm

Thanks for your words of encouragement Stephanie. I also found on Oprah’s magazine website pictures of totally awesome looking women with gray hair - it’s in the October issue of her mag. Perfect timing for this article.

Also, someone mentioned that they found gray hair a little on the rebellious side - I like that concept!

Comment by Jennifer

December 15, 2007 @ 3:10 am

I believe that women needing to chop their hair when it starts turning grey is a crock! If for no other reason than I refuse to do it! I’m only 28 and have waist-length strawberry blonde hair. However, almost exactly at my last birthday, the hair at my temples started turning pure white. I think it looks awesome! I remember having boy-cuts for most of my childhood and HATED it. I love having long hair. I think this is about as long as it’s ever been, but I intend to grow it till it just won’t grow anymore.

Not to mention that for to majority of history, women with short hair was not only unthinkable, but a mark of shame. And I’m pretty sure that women then went grey eventually, too.

Comment by Carol

December 16, 2007 @ 12:01 pm

Jennifer - YES, I agree - hair that is streaked with white is awesome! And with strawberry blonde hair it must look beautiful - probably more pale blonde than white at this stage since it mixes with the rest of the head.

Lowlighting my long gray/white hair has had mixed reviews from friends - some love it - some said I should cut it - Of course, I am not going to listen to them.

I enjoy being able to wear my hair up or half up with pretty hair accessories. My hair is actually a few inches past my shoulders and with long layers which compliments my face shape more.

If I decide to let my hair go all gray, it will be an easy transition since it is only lowlighted on half my head.

I only trim my hair 4x a year, and I lowlight 3x a year so the cost is minimal.

Enjoy your long hair - and don’t let anyone tell you to conform to what THEY think you should do. It’s really conventional wisdom vs. unconventional wisdom.

Comment by Nani Jean

January 24, 2008 @ 11:19 pm

Hello everyone! I found this site while looking for syles for my hair. It is silver/white/gray mixed, and past my waist now. When I was young, it was dark brown with natural red & gold highlights. I have perfect strangers stopping me often to tell me how beautiful my hair is. Of course, it’s not as thick as it used to be, but it’s still thicker than most, and I take care to keep it as healthy as possible. Just 5 years ago it was very very short, but I don’t think I’ll ever wear it that way again! Tooooo much work! LOL

What I am looking for, though, is a simple but elegant way to put it up for my daughter’s wedding in March. As the ‘mother of the bride’, I want to look my best! Any suggestions?

Nani Jean

Comment by Stephanie

January 25, 2008 @ 1:55 pm

Hair styles are so hard to describe online!

A fairly quick one I do is kind of like putting it up in a bun. I gather my hair up at the top of my head, twist it (not too tight, of course), then start winding like for a bun, with each loop going under the previous one. I then take the top of it and pull it down towards the nape of my neck. This creates a really nice effect with the hair, and can be held in with hair sticks.

Sometimes I struggle to get it that right combination of tight enough to stay in all day and loose enough for comfort, but it generall works really well.

Another that takes a bit more time but looks really elegant is my sister’s variation on the Victorian. She puts her hair in a ponytail, flips it through, does the three braids, but pulls them through the flipped section twice, arranging the braids neatly. She often puts a little hair decoration or hair stick in. This one stays put really well.

Comment by Carol

January 27, 2008 @ 9:44 am

Hi Girls - Nani Jean - you’re hair sounds awesome! I like Stephanie’s idea of a total upswept for the wedding, but also like to see a little more fussing going on - maybe a french braid. The length can be be wrapped at the nap of your neck in the braid or wrapped in a chignon.

Difficult to do - so if you like this idea, I would start practicing now or scouting out a hairdresser that does upswepts - BUT, you do not want your hair to look too “pageantly” which can easily happen in a salon by a well-meaning beautician.

I have been using jumbo-sized hot rollers again - I haven’t used these since the ’80s. My hair is not as long as yours (layered and a little past the shoulder), but if you set your hair AWAY from your face and the rollers on the sides and in the back placed as high on your head as possible and up instead of under - the ends of your hair should be curled which would be VERY pretty, and you could then wear your hair half-up.

Also, I don’t know where you live, but in Manhattan there is a “long hair only salon” -George Michael’s on Madison Avenue. I used to go there years ago - some of the women had FLOOR length hair - it was fun to watch the stylists do amazing things with their customers’ hair - hair sticks and picks and the like!

In any event - the only dos I would stay clear of would be dos that are too severe or too contrived.

Also, your dress or gown would also dictate a certain style to a point anyway. What are you wearing?

Comment by Bo

January 31, 2008 @ 2:10 pm

Women over 40 should cut their hair short only if they want to look—-their age or older. Time and again, ravishing manes get chopped shorter only to expose age lines and the more unflattering features. Hey, women are just plain lovely beings, but for the lady who cares about looking her most sensuous, grow your hair as long as you can, treat it with TLC and keep it groomed.
Yes, and those altruistic cuts for Locks of Love and others, they have *mountains* of donations already. Yours is not needed, except maybe by some socialite who will buy it! Bo

Comment by SUSAN FLIEGEL

March 20, 2008 @ 1:14 pm

My hair started turning grey when I was about 14, and by the time I was 16 I was dyeing it. That kept on, with many changes of color, until I was in my late 30s and, thanks to brown recluse spider bites, developed an allergy to the dyes. But by that time, enough of the hair had turned grey to look good (previously the roots had kinda resembled a calico cat). Since my hair is stick-straight with no body, curl, or wave and will not take any form of perm, I have two choices — wear it very short or very long. While I love it short, I’m a big woman and it really looks better long. For the last year and a half, I have grown it out and it’s now almost waist-length. With the hot summer ahead, I was going to cut it and donate the hair.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that all of the places that accept hair donations for cancer patients only make wigs for children, and will not accept grey hair. I know darned well there are plenty of older women who have lost their hair due to cancer treatment — why isn’t there a charity to make wigs for them?

I love some of the descriptions of hair styles on this site, but my hair tends to slide out of most styles, clips, and hair sticks. And since it is so straight, instead of wispy little curls caressing the neckline and face, I just look like I’ve been pulled through a bush backward with wild-looking bits and pieces sticking out.

Comment by Lillian Rosengarten

May 10, 2008 @ 4:27 pm

Hello long hair lovers. I am 73 and have thick hair to my waist. For some years I low lighted, but now am using no dyes. I love it, feel sexy and recommend this to anyone who wants to try.

Hair Power to elder women, from a hippie grandma.

Comment by carrie

June 5, 2008 @ 9:14 am

longer hair pulls down the face……..everything looks a little longer……nose chin ect…….shorter hair help make everything lift up a little…….long hair pulls down an already sagging face……

Comment by Stephanie

June 5, 2008 @ 11:45 am

And yet I see a lot of women who look utterly fabulous with long hair, no matter their age. Remember, long hair is not always worn down. You can do a lot with long hair styles.

Comment by Lisa

June 26, 2008 @ 8:18 am

I found this site looking for different hair styles. I found the comments amusing and helpful. I always had the impression that old women had long hair and always had it in a bun or a braid. Don’t know where this pre-conception comes from because both my grandmothers had the short perm!
I am only 30 and have hair that is waist length. I get the comments and the questions too. It started as having to keep it long to weigh down the frizzy curls. I have only cut it (more than just a trim) 3 times in the last 15 years. My hubby is always telling me to cut it and I always tell him NO!
I love my hair and it’s a lot easier to manage. I cannot have hair shorter than past my shoulders or I have a large mushroom-shaped catastrophy. I color it some, but will consider letting it go grey when the time comes, it looks pretty.

Comment by Karen

July 21, 2008 @ 2:37 pm

I am 54 and have naturally curly frizzy hair. I finally love it. I ordered a book, used and cheap, called Curly Girl. I actually visited their salon in NYC and had them get me to enjoy my hair. Their products work great, but you don’t have to use them. You can order them from beauty supply stores under Deva Curl. I color my shoulder length hair. I wash it, pat it dry, gel it wet, scrunch it slightly, and go to bed. In the morning, when dry, I put on either styling cream, serum or more gel. The trick is to not mess with it until it is dry. Then fluff it a little. I use a hooded dryer, $50 on line, if I need to do it during the day. I never had it so good. Short hair needed curling irons, blow drying and tons of hairspray. Yuch!

Comment by Karen

August 24, 2008 @ 6:43 pm

I just turned 63. Every time in my life that I cut my hair because I thought I should because of my age, I regretted it. It’s now past my shoulders, layered and still growing. I touch it up because I think my original natural color looks best on me (and because it matches all my clip-on extensions and hair pieces). Men love it, I love it, and the heck with anyone who doesn’t love it.

Comment by Becky

August 25, 2008 @ 8:42 am

I love long hair. My hair is layered by the back comes to my bra strap. I love long hair on the young and older women. I find short hair not appealing. Just my opinion. I think women were meant to have long hair. 50 years ago, women kept their hair long, it is not until recently you see girls, especially in their 20’s with short pixie cuts. Older women who once had long hair chop it off for this typical short hair cut.

Parents to daughters who cut their hair, please let it grow. God Bless.